As the Waves of the Ocean

It's so easy to stand on the beach and watch the waves roll against the sand...

how beautiful and relaxing it may be. 

But, when you stand amid the waves, trying to gain a footing, if there for hours, you may find it frustrating at the wrestling with the tide.

This is a good picture of how life has been for me for...hmmm, well ...a good long time.  I feel as if I am out there in the sea, not simply in a boat that's rocking to and fro in the midst of the storm, but rather within the waves, struggling to catch my breath, to gain a footing, to get some respite.

Uhhh, it's a very difficult battle I have been fighting, mostly within.   Each day, there is a battle that rages.  Will I give into this disease or fight? Fight! Ah yes, this is what I want to do but often, I become weary in this battle.  But, really! what other choice do I have but to struggle and fight?  You see, if I were alone on this earth, I could very well, pick a spot on the map, and live as a recluse and just give in. 

BUT, God has given me a family, a purpose on this green planet, and for that simple reason, I have to fight!  I have six children to raise up for the Lord.  I must try, ever so intently, to help them to be what God desires them to be.  I must give them the tools, practically to be a godly wife, a good parent and spiritually to be a strong Christian.  My efforts, truly are flawed but my prayer is that God will give grace and that He will make up for my many short-comings and faults.

What will this result be?  I really can't tell.  Oh, I can imagine these wonderful dreams of my girls being wonderful wives and godly mothers, my boys being strong men that will hold fast in THE faith, loving their wives with delight and valuing their relationships with their children but only God knows what the future holds.  It is up to me and what I do with THIS DAY that is before me.  To hold eternity in view, to die to self and selfish desires, to fight with all of my being, all that would threaten God's best in their lives. 

And so THIS day, I choose to fight, to face these storms with all that I am.  And when there is nothing left in me to fight, then fight some more, to be strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might.

"I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"

I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine

'Cause the skies might turn to grey.

I don't worry about the future,

'Cause I know what Jesus said,

And today I'll walk beside him

'Cause he's knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow

 I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter

As the golden stairs I climb.

Every burden is getting lighter

All the clouds are silver lined.

Over there the sun is always shining

And no tears will dim the eye

And the ending of the rainbow

Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

Yes I know who holds my hand.