Cream of Wheat and Silly Songs

Ever wonder what your kids will remember from their childhood?

I don't mean things like brush your teeth after every meal, close the door when you go to the bathroom (mother's of boys...Heaven help us) and don't talk with food in your mouth.

I mean memories.

Sure they will remember the big stuff, like moving into a new house, the death of a family pet and a family vacation.

But what about the little stuff? What kind of things are going to stand out in their minds, so much so that they reminisce and tell their children or grandchildren about it? What about their life gives them security, makes them feel loved or even makes them laugh when no one else is around?

I can look back and remember the way my dad smelled when he walked in from work every evening. He worked at the Post Office and chewed Trident Gum (the blue kind). You may not realize this but the Post Office has a distinct smell..maybe it's the glue on the stamps ;) -I don't know but whatever it is, my dad smelled like it. Whenever I go in to mail a package, I think of my dad. It warms my heart and makes me miss him all at the same time. He died when I was only 17 and I still miss him just as much as I ever did. (It amazes me how you can miss someone so much even after 20 years of them being gone)

I remember holding my moms hot, black coffee every morning on the way to the babysitter (my great-aunt who had lots of dogs and fed me tuna sandwiches with carrot sticks EVERY day). I remember having horrible ear infections and my mom snuggling with me on her lap to try to ease my pain.

I remember spending the night at my grandparents' and all the little things that made me feel special and so very loved...like spending the day with them, grocery shopping at Kroger and grandma saying, "If you see something you want, just get it, Doll." I remember how my grandma would put about an inch of water in the tub (seriously one inch) and help me scrub up and then let me wear her pajamas. After my bath, we'd sit on their carport watching the cars go by, playing with their little dog and just talking until dark. In the morning, we'd eat Cream of Wheat and drink ice cold Tang out of her colorful frosted glasses.

 

 

I can close my eyes and remember my papa getting out his guitar and singing for me. He would sing silly songs and his eyes would get really big which made me laugh. Grandma would smile and just shake her head.

I wonder... What kind of memories MY kids will have.

What will stick out in their mind?

Will they remember their Mama's silliness...

Their daddy singing funny songs...

I wonder if I am giving them good memories, godly examples and something to pass on to their children.

As the Waves of the Ocean

It's so easy to stand on the beach and watch the waves roll against the sand...

how beautiful and relaxing it may be. 

But, when you stand amid the waves, trying to gain a footing, if there for hours, you may find it frustrating at the wrestling with the tide.

This is a good picture of how life has been for me for...hmmm, well ...a good long time.  I feel as if I am out there in the sea, not simply in a boat that's rocking to and fro in the midst of the storm, but rather within the waves, struggling to catch my breath, to gain a footing, to get some respite.

Uhhh, it's a very difficult battle I have been fighting, mostly within.   Each day, there is a battle that rages.  Will I give into this disease or fight? Fight! Ah yes, this is what I want to do but often, I become weary in this battle.  But, really! what other choice do I have but to struggle and fight?  You see, if I were alone on this earth, I could very well, pick a spot on the map, and live as a recluse and just give in. 

BUT, God has given me a family, a purpose on this green planet, and for that simple reason, I have to fight!  I have six children to raise up for the Lord.  I must try, ever so intently, to help them to be what God desires them to be.  I must give them the tools, practically to be a godly wife, a good parent and spiritually to be a strong Christian.  My efforts, truly are flawed but my prayer is that God will give grace and that He will make up for my many short-comings and faults.

What will this result be?  I really can't tell.  Oh, I can imagine these wonderful dreams of my girls being wonderful wives and godly mothers, my boys being strong men that will hold fast in THE faith, loving their wives with delight and valuing their relationships with their children but only God knows what the future holds.  It is up to me and what I do with THIS DAY that is before me.  To hold eternity in view, to die to self and selfish desires, to fight with all of my being, all that would threaten God's best in their lives. 

And so THIS day, I choose to fight, to face these storms with all that I am.  And when there is nothing left in me to fight, then fight some more, to be strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might.

"I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"

I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine

'Cause the skies might turn to grey.

I don't worry about the future,

'Cause I know what Jesus said,

And today I'll walk beside him

'Cause he's knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow

 I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter

As the golden stairs I climb.

Every burden is getting lighter

All the clouds are silver lined.

Over there the sun is always shining

And no tears will dim the eye

And the ending of the rainbow

Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

Yes I know who holds my hand.

"In all this Job sinned not"

God's timing amazes me...as I am reading through my Bible everyday, I find that God gives me exactly what I need for each day.  Not too many days ago, I sat on my bed, warm steamy coffee in hand and my Bible on my lap...  This has been my morning routine since I can't remember. 

With me being sick, my husband has played a great part in this: The alarm usually goes off at about 6am.  The smell of fresh coffee brewing has already filled the house with it's "best part of waking up" aroma.  My dear, sweet husband, makes his way into the kitchen to fill my favorite cup and grabs my medicine.  He usually walks into the bedroom, scooting my little Romeo off of the bed (Romeo is my ever-devoted kitty) and helps me out of bed with a warm hug and kiss as I stand to my feet.  "Here's your medicine, sweety."
"Thank you. Good morning." Is my usual reply as I sip my hot coffee and down a hand full of pills.  (Brittany is amazed at my ability to swallow so many pills at once.  I don't even have to wiggle my toes or jump up and down to help them make their way in like some 5 foot 3 inch people! ) :)

I make use of the time it takes for my pain medicine to kick in and sit on the bed doing my morning devotions...which is where I began this little story of mine...

Not too many days ago, I sat on my bed, warm steamy coffee in hand and my Bible on my lap... 
I had been reading through my Bible and on the previous day finished up the book of Esther.  (I love reading the book of Esther, although I can't help but to play it out in my mind like the movie, "One Night With the King".  I love that movie and it suits me just fine to let my mind wonder this way.) So, I turn the page and what do I find?  My next assignment is .... JOB.  (Ahh, thanks Lord! I don't know if I want this lesson.)  In the past, I have read the book of Job and wondered at Job's distress and not really understanding his response.

My first new insight was that Job was emotional and grieved.  

But, "In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly." Job 1:22 

You see this was such a revelation for me!  I have had so many moments of grief and tears. I began to feel guilty, like I was being so unspiritual for struggling with what I was going through. 

I mean REALLY!  How can a mother look into the face of her sweet little dimpled seven year old and think that she may not be there to help him grow up? Or watch her girls sit on the end of her bed, talking, laughing and being silly and think she may not be there to hold their first child?  There are so many aspects to dealing with a life-threatening disease.  It can be so overwhelming at times. 
 So, you grieve, and cry and even question your struggles.

But, "In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly." Job 1:22 

You mean to tell me, "It's okay to grieve and cry and struggle?" 

That, "My tears don't mean that I'm unspiritual?"

How LIBERATING that truth was!

And so, I am really enjoying my study through the book of Job. 

God is teaching me so much and ministering to my spirit in so many wonderful ways.

This morning has been no different!  

This was what God had for me today:

"Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant?"
Numbers 11:11

Our heavenly Father sends us frequent troubles to try our faith. If our faith be worth anything, it will stand the test. Gilt is afraid of fire, but gold is not: the paste gem dreads to be touched by the diamond, but the true jewel fears no test. It is a poor faith which can only trust God when friends are true, the body full of health, and the business profitable; but that is true faith which holds by the Lord's faithfulness when friends are gone, when the body is sick, when spirits are depressed, and the light of our Father's countenance is hidden. A faith which can say, in the direst trouble, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him," is heaven-born faith. The Lord afflicts his servants to glorify himself, for he is greatly glorified in the graces of his people, which are his own handiwork. When "tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope," the Lord is honoured by these growing virtues. We should never know the music of the harp if the strings were left untouched; nor enjoy the juice of the grape if it were not trodden in the winepress; nor discover the sweet perfume of cinnamon if it were not pressed and beaten; nor feel the warmth of fire if the coals were not utterly consumed. The wisdom and power of the great Workman are discovered by the trials through which his vessels of mercy are permitted to pass. Present afflictions tend also to heighten future joy. There must be shades in the picture to bring out the beauty of the lights. Could we be so supremely blessed in heaven, if we had not known the curse of sin and the sorrow of earth? Will not peace be sweeter after conflict, and rest more welcome after toil? Will not the recollection of past sufferings enhance the bliss of the glorified? There are many other comfortable answers to the question with which we opened our brief meditation, let us muse upon it all day long.

My life is but a weaving ..

My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I may choose the colors
But He knows what they should be.

For He can view the pattern
Upon the upper side
While I see it….
Only on the underside.

Sometimes He weaveth sorrow
Which seemeth strange to me
But I will trust His judgment
And work on faithfully.

Tis He who fills the shuttle
For He knows what is best
And I shall weave in earnest
And leave with Him the rest.

At last when life has ended
With Him I shall abide
Then I may view the pattern
Upon the other side.

Then I shall know the reason why
Pain with joy entwined
Was woven in the fabric of life
That God designed.
The shuttles of His purpose move
To carry out His own design;
Seek not too soon to disapprove
His work, nor yet assign
Dark motives, when, with silent tread,
You view some somber fold;
For lo, within each darker thread
There twines a thread of gold.

Spin cheerfully,
Not tearfully,
He knows the way you plod; Spin carefully,
Spin prayerfully,
But leave the thread with God.