Chrismas Blessings!

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas, from our home to yours!

Here's a little bit of our year in photos...

enjoy!

As the Waves of the Ocean

It's so easy to stand on the beach and watch the waves roll against the sand...

how beautiful and relaxing it may be. 

But, when you stand amid the waves, trying to gain a footing, if there for hours, you may find it frustrating at the wrestling with the tide.

This is a good picture of how life has been for me for...hmmm, well ...a good long time.  I feel as if I am out there in the sea, not simply in a boat that's rocking to and fro in the midst of the storm, but rather within the waves, struggling to catch my breath, to gain a footing, to get some respite.

Uhhh, it's a very difficult battle I have been fighting, mostly within.   Each day, there is a battle that rages.  Will I give into this disease or fight? Fight! Ah yes, this is what I want to do but often, I become weary in this battle.  But, really! what other choice do I have but to struggle and fight?  You see, if I were alone on this earth, I could very well, pick a spot on the map, and live as a recluse and just give in. 

BUT, God has given me a family, a purpose on this green planet, and for that simple reason, I have to fight!  I have six children to raise up for the Lord.  I must try, ever so intently, to help them to be what God desires them to be.  I must give them the tools, practically to be a godly wife, a good parent and spiritually to be a strong Christian.  My efforts, truly are flawed but my prayer is that God will give grace and that He will make up for my many short-comings and faults.

What will this result be?  I really can't tell.  Oh, I can imagine these wonderful dreams of my girls being wonderful wives and godly mothers, my boys being strong men that will hold fast in THE faith, loving their wives with delight and valuing their relationships with their children but only God knows what the future holds.  It is up to me and what I do with THIS DAY that is before me.  To hold eternity in view, to die to self and selfish desires, to fight with all of my being, all that would threaten God's best in their lives. 

And so THIS day, I choose to fight, to face these storms with all that I am.  And when there is nothing left in me to fight, then fight some more, to be strong in the Lord and the power of HIS might.

"I Know Who Holds Tomorrow"

I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from its sunshine

'Cause the skies might turn to grey.

I don't worry about the future,

'Cause I know what Jesus said,

And today I'll walk beside him

'Cause he's knows what lies ahead.

Many things about tomorrow

 I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

Every step is getting brighter

As the golden stairs I climb.

Every burden is getting lighter

All the clouds are silver lined.

Over there the sun is always shining

And no tears will dim the eye

And the ending of the rainbow

Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

Many things about tomorrow

I don't seem to understand

But I know who holds tomorrow

And I know who holds my hand.

Yes I know who holds my hand.

Family Memories

Frontier Culture Museum Family Day

My Sweet Fella

Brittany walked over to where Joshy was petting the little sheep and
casually leaned over to TOUCH the ANIMAL.  Yes, it's true.
"Ohh!  It's sooo soft" 

Brit helped the boys "Old School" style with pieces of metal and slates.

My pretty little Abby.  She's growing up so quickly and looking
like her big sisters more and more each day.

Samuel grabbed it,
already figuring in his mind
how he was going to handle it. 
My little Paul Bunyan

"In all this Job sinned not"

God's timing amazes me...as I am reading through my Bible everyday, I find that God gives me exactly what I need for each day.  Not too many days ago, I sat on my bed, warm steamy coffee in hand and my Bible on my lap...  This has been my morning routine since I can't remember. 

With me being sick, my husband has played a great part in this: The alarm usually goes off at about 6am.  The smell of fresh coffee brewing has already filled the house with it's "best part of waking up" aroma.  My dear, sweet husband, makes his way into the kitchen to fill my favorite cup and grabs my medicine.  He usually walks into the bedroom, scooting my little Romeo off of the bed (Romeo is my ever-devoted kitty) and helps me out of bed with a warm hug and kiss as I stand to my feet.  "Here's your medicine, sweety."
"Thank you. Good morning." Is my usual reply as I sip my hot coffee and down a hand full of pills.  (Brittany is amazed at my ability to swallow so many pills at once.  I don't even have to wiggle my toes or jump up and down to help them make their way in like some 5 foot 3 inch people! ) :)

I make use of the time it takes for my pain medicine to kick in and sit on the bed doing my morning devotions...which is where I began this little story of mine...

Not too many days ago, I sat on my bed, warm steamy coffee in hand and my Bible on my lap... 
I had been reading through my Bible and on the previous day finished up the book of Esther.  (I love reading the book of Esther, although I can't help but to play it out in my mind like the movie, "One Night With the King".  I love that movie and it suits me just fine to let my mind wonder this way.) So, I turn the page and what do I find?  My next assignment is .... JOB.  (Ahh, thanks Lord! I don't know if I want this lesson.)  In the past, I have read the book of Job and wondered at Job's distress and not really understanding his response.

My first new insight was that Job was emotional and grieved.  

But, "In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly." Job 1:22 

You see this was such a revelation for me!  I have had so many moments of grief and tears. I began to feel guilty, like I was being so unspiritual for struggling with what I was going through. 

I mean REALLY!  How can a mother look into the face of her sweet little dimpled seven year old and think that she may not be there to help him grow up? Or watch her girls sit on the end of her bed, talking, laughing and being silly and think she may not be there to hold their first child?  There are so many aspects to dealing with a life-threatening disease.  It can be so overwhelming at times. 
 So, you grieve, and cry and even question your struggles.

But, "In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly." Job 1:22 

You mean to tell me, "It's okay to grieve and cry and struggle?" 

That, "My tears don't mean that I'm unspiritual?"

How LIBERATING that truth was!

And so, I am really enjoying my study through the book of Job. 

God is teaching me so much and ministering to my spirit in so many wonderful ways.

This morning has been no different!  

This was what God had for me today:

"Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant?"
Numbers 11:11

Our heavenly Father sends us frequent troubles to try our faith. If our faith be worth anything, it will stand the test. Gilt is afraid of fire, but gold is not: the paste gem dreads to be touched by the diamond, but the true jewel fears no test. It is a poor faith which can only trust God when friends are true, the body full of health, and the business profitable; but that is true faith which holds by the Lord's faithfulness when friends are gone, when the body is sick, when spirits are depressed, and the light of our Father's countenance is hidden. A faith which can say, in the direst trouble, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him," is heaven-born faith. The Lord afflicts his servants to glorify himself, for he is greatly glorified in the graces of his people, which are his own handiwork. When "tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope," the Lord is honoured by these growing virtues. We should never know the music of the harp if the strings were left untouched; nor enjoy the juice of the grape if it were not trodden in the winepress; nor discover the sweet perfume of cinnamon if it were not pressed and beaten; nor feel the warmth of fire if the coals were not utterly consumed. The wisdom and power of the great Workman are discovered by the trials through which his vessels of mercy are permitted to pass. Present afflictions tend also to heighten future joy. There must be shades in the picture to bring out the beauty of the lights. Could we be so supremely blessed in heaven, if we had not known the curse of sin and the sorrow of earth? Will not peace be sweeter after conflict, and rest more welcome after toil? Will not the recollection of past sufferings enhance the bliss of the glorified? There are many other comfortable answers to the question with which we opened our brief meditation, let us muse upon it all day long.

White Coats & High Hopes

White Coats & High Hopes

So, here I sit in one of the best hospitals in the country

(and likely the world) and what is the prevailing thought? 

 "Life is so disposable."        Or better yet... It is but a vapor.

 There are hundreds of people sitting here in the waiting room to get help for whatever ails them and the first stop is blood work.  Walk up to the counter, "Hilton Building, Desk C" and you are greeted by a smiling, cheerful face.  "Wow" I think to myself.  After all, it's 8am, I'm nervous because I don't know what lies before me, I'm probably patient number 473 this morning alone and this is a welcoming stop on my journey.  Perhaps this is just a really sweet lady!

Blood work done.  Onward to my next appointment.  As we tunnel our way through the underground walkways (aka "subways") toward the main lobby, I feel like I'm entering a beautiful hotel lobby with 40 foot ceilings, marble floors, beautiful art and a pleasant grand piano filling the air with lovely music.

 "Shall we just sit here, drink in the atmosphere and lose ourselves in the music?"  Ahh, no- we didn't travel close to a thousand miles for atmosphere!  I mean it could look like a sanitarium and it wouldn't matter if they did what I needed done!

Appointment after appointment, that lady from the "Hilton Building, Desk C" must have sent her sisters to take care of me because they were ALL so sweet and lovely.  I'm not joking, even the men were pleasant.  We must be on another planet!  Are we still in America?  And "Up North" for goodness sakes!  Everybody knows that "all Northerners are rude." (At least that's what our mamas told us)

No, no, we were in the right place but they must have one of those Wal-Mart kind of morning "pep rallies" before the doors open at 6am for patients, to get everyone motivated and happy. 

                          ************

With all of that being said, I hope I have set the atmosphere quite perfectly for you.  I ended up in "The" Liver Specialist's office by Wednesday.  The bulk of tests had been done and it was time for some serious observation.  We sat and talked with him as he sorted files, read records, asked questions and made notes.  He was a pleasant man, relaxed, calculated and very knowledgeable.  After examining me, it was time for us to ask questions.  We had many fears- my doctors at UVA helped us to understand how serious my condition was, no doubt so that we would handle it seriously and follow their treatment plan.  I had Stage 3 Liver Disease.  They wanted to, "save my liver" and avoid the need for a transplant.  Along with this, we had been studying up on this disease and knew allot of the "Ins and outs" from our reading.

So, what did he say?

He did confirm that I have both PBC (Primary Biliary Cirrhosis) and AIH (Autoimmune Hepatitis). 

They have ordered the actual tissue samples from my last two biopsies and will have them looked at by Mayo.  (He didn't see the point in taking another biopsy)  He believes that with a little different approach, as far as my medicine goes, we can get to the place that we can manage these diseases and the damage they are having on my liver. There are no dietary changes that will aid in managing the effects of this disease on my liver.  I don't need to worry about a transplant: 25 years ago PBC was the leading reason for a liver transplant but with the advancement of medicine and treatment options, it is rare for a PBC patient to need a transplant (even at Stage 4).

Long term, things look good for me.  I will still have the difficulty of day-to-day pain and fatigue from the disease. Over the next week, I have a series of appointments with the chronic pain clinic which will help me with managing my pain through medicine and lifestyle management. (like the physical therapy I am currently doing)

All in all, we are so encouraged!  We are truly rejoicing in The Lord and are THANKFUL for the LIFE He has given me.

Why Mayo?

So why can't I just stay in Virginia and get my treatment at UVA?

After much prodding from my husband, I put in a request with the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.  Within four days, they contacted me with an appointment.  My first thought was, "We don't have a dime to do this".  With tears streaming down my face and the phone still by my ear, my husband told me that God would provide...

Well, he was right- God provided!  He has provided the way, a place to stay and a car to drive. 
Without a doubt, I KNOW that God wants me here!

Why choose Mayo Clinic

• Experience. Mayo Clinic is one of the leading treatment centers for primary biliary cirrhosis in the United States. You benefit from the experience of primary biliary cirrhosis specialists who treat hundreds of people each year.
• Research advances. You have access to the latest diagnosis and treatment advances at Mayo Clinic, which has been conducting research on primary biliary cirrhosis for more than 40 years. Mayo Clinic researchers have studied many treatments for primary biliary cirrhosis and have made significant contributions to understanding its cause, including finding two gene variations that seem to predispose people to primary biliary cirrhosis. This discovery is the first step toward developing targeted treatments and a cure.
• Excellence in liver transplants. Mayo Clinic has performed more than 4,500 liver transplants and has some of the highest transplant survival rates in the world. People with primary biliary cirrhosis who receive transplants have particularly high survival rates.
• Team approach. Liver specialists, radiologists, pathologists and surgeons work together as a team to provide comprehensive and coordinated care for people with primary biliary cirrhosis.